


The Words We Make

by Brom_Saurth



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Lance and his many many insecurities, Langst, M/M, Swearing, Words AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 00:05:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10058138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brom_Saurth/pseuds/Brom_Saurth
Summary: This is just a little something that I had come up with from http://cheattoe.tumblr.com/post/148699581264/ok-nerds-i-came-up-with-a-new-au-you-know-how . I'd like to shout out the tumblr users @thespace-dragon, Mogi was my major drive in writing this out and was a great source of help and inspiration for this fic. @shiros-eyes for being another awesome source of reassurance and ideas. Last but not at all least I'd like to thank @sasaina-ai Rhys is such an amazing artist and writer and I'm so glad to have gotten their input on this!Further shout out to to the space-dragon Mogi for being an awesome editor for this mess!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little something that I had come up with from http://cheattoe.tumblr.com/post/148699581264/ok-nerds-i-came-up-with-a-new-au-you-know-how . I'd like to shout out the tumblr users @thespace-dragon, Mogi was my major drive in writing this out and was a great source of help and inspiration for this fic. @shiros-eyes for being another awesome source of reassurance and ideas. Last but not at all least I'd like to thank @sasaina-ai Rhys is such an amazing artist and writer and I'm so glad to have gotten their input on this!
> 
> Further shout out to to the space-dragon Mogi for being an awesome editor for this mess!

“This is one terrible day.” Lance said to himself on the long ride back to the Castle of Lions. It had been a close call on the mission that had nearly cost them the lives of the aliens that had sent out the distress signal. 

And of course, it’s my fault, thought Lance. It’s always my fault. 

Once again the painful words across lance shoulders burned the horrible words that haunted him every day since he had first found Blue. You are the worst pilot ever! The words shown like a jagged cut to Lance’s soul. Some days the words would fade away ever so slightly only for them to return as bright and clear as the first day they stuck to him. And Lance hated it, he hated how much Keith could impact him like that, he hated how out of everything that they had said to each other those words were what he felt defined him. Every single time before they went out on a mission, every time the Galra attacked, every time Lance had to be a paladin the words would haunt him. 

When they finally reached the Castle Lance just wanted to immediately go to his room, he needed some time to himself. But as always there was the mission debriefing that Shiro always wanted to do. 

“Great work team that’s another planet saved and job well done!” Boomed their ever upbeat fearless leader. “Pidge great job on hacking into their mainframe and shutting down the barriers to the complex.” 

“Please it was easier than catching a duflax,” said their genius paladin. 

“And Hunk that was some excellent flying out there you’re getting better all the time.” 

“It’s getting easier, still used to being an engineer and not a pilot though.”Hunk blushed.

“Keith good work getting the drop on that batch of fighters.” 

“Thank the asteroids not me Shiro,” Mr. Perfect Mullet said.

And then Shiro turned to Lance. “Lance, be more careful next time.” 

Lance could feel his hand burn as the words scorched themselves on the back of it. Just another awful quote to add to his body. 

I really am the worst pilot on the team. 

But Lance being Lance did what he always did, he threw on his typical smile and said in a voice that he couldn’t believe was his own, “Yea you got it Shiro.” The smile felt like a crack split wide onto his face. “Alright guys, I’m beat I’m about to turn in early.” Lance excused himself. 

As soon as the door shut Lance leaned his back on it and slowly sunk down to the floor. 

They don’t need me. You always bring the team down Lance. What if I wind up getting one of them killed? The thoughts came pouring into Lance’s head like a dark tide that he couldn’t stop. The words on his shoulders and hand burning away as they played over and over again in his mind. Lance didn’t even notice the tears streaming down his face until they landed on his arms he had wrapped around his knees. 

He breathed in a deep sigh and stood up, ripping off his armor and barely taking the time to throw on a shirt. Lance took a moment to stare at the ugly new words etched on to his right hand. The clear red words printed neatly on his hand Lance be more careful next time. Lance looked past his hand at the helmet resting next to his feet. He reached down and picked it up and stared at the broken boy in his visor’s reflection.  
“You’re just a burden to the team the team after all,” he spoke to his reflection. “You really are the seventh wheel Lance.” 

And with a sinking feeling Lance felt the all too familiar burn on his arms as he watched the new words write themselves before his eyes. Helet out an angry scream and threw his helmet at the door and slowly sat down on his bed. His hands reaching up to hold the sides of his head. Way to go, Lance, you just keep on fucking up. It’s bad enough that you let everyone else get to you now you have to go on and fuck up yourself too. Lance was full on crying now at how stupid he was. 

Just-Just even when I’m alone I have to fail. I’m a worthless paladin I’m going to fail them one day and I know it. I don’t deserv-

There was a gentle knock on his door, “Lance?”

Of course, it had to be Keith, Lance grimly thought as he laid down on his bed facing the wall, my lucks so bad that it just had to be him. 

“Lance?” Another slightly louder knock. “Are you ok in there?”

“Ye-” Lance coughed after hearing his cracked sad voice. “Yea, I’m fine Mullet.” 

There was silence for a moment and Lance thought that maybe he had chased him off.

“I’m coming in.” 

FUCK!

“Wha- What? No! Keith!” 

Keith ignored Lance’s protest as he opened his door and barged in, he at least had the courtesy to shut the door, and sat down next to Lance. 

“Ok Lance, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong”, he lied through his teeth. “I’m just tired is all.” 

“Then what was that bang I heard against your door?”

“Nothing just kicked my shoes off a little too hard.” 

“Then why are they over there where you usually keep them?” 

“Because I moved them there after, Keith,” Lance spoke with a rising edge in his voice.

Keith shuffled on his bed. “Then why’s your helmet on the ground by the door Lance?”

“Because I liked the aestheticc.” Lance snapped.  
Then Keith’s voice dropped becoming a little softer. “Why won’t you look at me Lance?”

“Because I hate you remember?”Lance hissed out in a voice he couldn’t believe was his. Why can’t you leave me alone.

“Lance,” the mullet mutt said softly.

Lance opted for the silent treatment since he didn’t feel like talking. 

“Lance?” Keith asked with patience Lance didn’t think he had, “Lance? Tell me what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong?” Lance barked,“What’s wrong?! What’s wrong is I’m fucking useless! I’m not good enough for this team! Every time I try to be a part of this team, to be great, I fail.” He sat up abruptly and venomously looked at Keith’s startled face. “That I’m just a second rate cargo pilot who wasn’t even good enough to be noticed by the oh so perfect Keith, the best fucking pilot in the garrison! The guy who even after a year in desert was still a better pilot than me after everything I did to get better!” A part of Lance relished the hurt look on Keith’s face right now, to know that he could bring down the ‘golden child’ of Voltron.

“Lance I never sa-” started Keith,

“REALLY? YOU’RE GOING TO SAY THAT YOU NEVER SAID YOU WERE BETTER THAN ME? YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING LIE TO ME LIKE THAT?” Lance was so angry that he ripped his shirt off and turned his back to Keith. Taking no small pleasure in spitting the words back in Keith’s face “TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK, KEITH, I LIVE EVERYDAY REMEMBERING JUST WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME! THAT I’M NOTHING, THAT I’M JUST A MISTAKE THAT BLUE MADE! THAT I KEEP ON FUCKING UP EVERYTHING! THAT I’M SO PATHETIC THAT I CAN’T EVEN HOLD A CANDLE TO YOU LET ALONE SHIRO OR ANYONE ELSE ON THIS SHIP!” 

Lance didn’t know when the tears had started to stream down his face again during his rant, but he was so angry that he didn’t care at this point. He took in a shuddering breath and then whispered out, “I’m just not good enough for this team and you know it. So just get out.” 

The silence was deafening after Lance had just spilled out all the anger within him. Lance took shuddering breathes interrupted by hiccups as he was trying to angrily hold back his tears. Then Keith did the last thing that he ever thought he would have done. 

He reached his arms around and hugged Lance tight and whispered in his ear with a shaking voice he had never heard before. “I’m so so sorry Lance, I-I didn’t know that you were feeling like this.”

He gently pressed his head right between his shoulder blades. “Lance Voltron would never be the same without you.” 

“Bullshit!” Lance interrupted, “You could easily find someone else.”

“Even if we found someone as amazing as you Lance it wouldn’t be the same,” Keith continued in that calming tone, “Lance the way you always know how everyone is feeling. How you brighten up the room with your jokes. How you always lighten up the mood when we’re thinking about how far away we are from everything we know and love. Lance you’re an amazing pilot who’s come so far along in such a short amount of time.” As Keith kept on speaking he tightened his hug around Lance. “Lance, you saved Hunk and an entire race of mermaids from being living sacrifices to an alien monster.” 

“If it wasn’t for Hunk we wouldn’t have-”,Lance started.

“No Lance, Hunk told me about how amazing you were,” Keith pressed on. “He told me about how you refused to hurt your friend even when he was attacking you. Hunk talked about how you beat the Baku almost entirely by yourself. That if it wasn’t for you Lance, Hunk would have been fish food down there.” 

Lance’s breathing had slowed down and his tears had slowly stopped as he started to take in Keith’s words. 

“Lance, you are the most loyal and compassionate person I know. You’re so selfless and you saved Coran from the explosion in the Castle. You were willing to go to the ends of the universe to get Allura back, when I was willing to just write her off. Lance, I wish I was as good a person as you.”

Lance’s breath caught in his throat. Keith…wants to be like me? He felt the warm pleasant heat from a bonfire on his back exactly where Keith’s forehead was pressed on his back. As the words: I wish I was as good a person as you engraved themselves neatly onto his skin.

Lance shuffled around in Keith’s arms until he was facing him. He looked Keith in his violet eyes and hesitantly asked, “Do you... really mean that?”

Keith smiled a soft smile at Lance and said to him softly, “Of course I do.” 

Lance started to shake as new tears came pouring out of his eyes. 

“Lance? Lance, why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?” Keith asked, fear creeping into his voice.

“I’m crying because you always do this! You always have to be amazing and beautiful and perfect! I’m crying cause even when I scream at you, you sit here and be kind and patient tome! You just keep on being here for me when I’m nothing!” Lance was getting more and more incoherent as he went as the tears and emotions just kept pouring out of him. “Just- I just said all of that to you and what do you do? You sit here and tell me all these things and… and- You just always make me feel like I’m home when we’re light years away from it. And just- I love you and I’m not good enough for a guy like you, Keith!”

Lance buried his face in his hands and shut his eyes tight not wanting to see the look of disgust that was probably on Keith’s face right now. I mean, look at me I’m pathetic right now.

“Lance, please look at me.” Keith said softly. 

Lance was still for a moment before he slowly lowered his hands from his face. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to Keith’s flushed face that had a small hesitant smile on it. Keith leaned in closer to Lance until barely an inch separated them. Lance’s sapphire eyes gazing into Keith’s amethyst ones, both unblinking in barely lit room. 

“Lance, I love you too,” Keith whispered to Lance in the softest, most tender way possible.

Keith pressed his forehead to Lance’s. “I’ll always be here for you, Lance. No matter what happens, and no matter how much you may think otherwise, I’ll never leave you.” 

Lance hesitantly reached his arms around and hugged Keith to him as he did the same to Lance. They both sat in the dark room holding each other as Lance finally started to calm down and get his brain on straight. Keith loves me? He really loves me? Were the thoughts that kept buzzing around his head. Lance just couldn’t grasp that this was real and not just a dream. 

Finally, Lance found his voice and quietly asked Keith, “Can you- can you uhh stay here with me for a while? I don’t want to be alone right now. Ahhh you know what never mind you’ve got things to do it’s totally-”

“No, Lance, it’s ok, I’ll stay as long as you need me,” Keith whispered quietly to Lance, not even budging an inch to try and get up. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They fell back into a comfortable silence as Lance felt the soft rise and fall of Keith’s chest on his. The rhythm was so comforting and hypnotic as Lance finally felt the toll his emotions had taken out on him. Lance could feel sleep slowly creep up on him. Lance blindly reach his hand out to Keith’s and hesitantly grasped it. 

Lance whispered into Keith’s ear, “Don’t ever let me go.”

Keith whispered back to him, “I won’t.”

Lance finally lost himself to sleep with the pleasant heat of the words marking his hand that was holding Keith’s.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I might continue this but it'll be slow so just relax and what for it.


End file.
